Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
