So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
3 2 1 whiskey
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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