mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
