you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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