Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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