also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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