Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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