i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
