what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
