Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
