She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This baby is an asshole
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
