Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
