In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
