Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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