you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
