Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
