Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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