i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
