This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
