Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
