super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
