I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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