Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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