He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she told me i tasted like america
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
