Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
