I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
