This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
