Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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