I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
