The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
how drunk are you?
Several
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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