he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
