She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
