So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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