You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
