Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
