Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
