Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
