Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
