I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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