We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
