I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
