Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
