I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
