btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
as a side note pls kill me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
