"it" just moved
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
