SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
