So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
