:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
