ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
