3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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