I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
