Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
